You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
