omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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