Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
