How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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