You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
