PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
