dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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