I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
