nut hugger
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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