that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
