I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
