Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
