maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
