quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
