He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We have so much sex to catch up on
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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