I'm really into asian looking animals
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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