White coat. Heels.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
