Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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