Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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