He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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