New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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