Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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