Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
