what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
