We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
