My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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