And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
