forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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