If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
