shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
