i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
