Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize