I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
