question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
