i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i think im in europe. pls send help
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
