Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
