He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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