my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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