im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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