I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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