I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
