we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This is my gift to your gina
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
