did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
