i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
