how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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