Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We have started to decorate penises.
NoShamevember. You game?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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