a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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