This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
