i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
