i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
